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Ban Left-Hand Marriage!

December 9, 2008

10-minute excerpt. Complete show here.

Should We Bail Out Detroit?

December 8, 2008

Bush: "Not My Fault!"

December 4, 2008

Bush’s classic legacy: knee-jerk blaming everyone but himself

Ban Left-Hand Marriage!

December 3, 2008

I have a new proposition for the California ballot: Ban Southpaw Marriage!

I know there are some who say that being left-handed is not a choice…
That people are “born” that way.
That’s ridiculous.
We all know we choose which hand to write with and feed ourselves.
And this disgusting abnormal perversion of this radical minority cannot be the will of God.
After all, in every human society from the beginning of time,
Right is “right”! It says so in every language.
Left is sinister, evil, gauche, maladroit.
Right is “droit”, right, correct, the Law!

And left-handed people, unlike gay people, are more likely to propagate.
Do you want your child taught by a left-handed teacher?
Taught that it’s OK to be left handed?
Taught that left-handed people are “normal” and “creative” and “healthy, functioning human beings”?
Do you want YOUR child to be left-handed and unable to use common tools and machinery?


Debate Tuesday: Mumbai and Gambling (Internet & Wall Street)

December 2, 2008

Today I discuss with Republican strategist Mike Lane the massacre in Mumbai. I suspect we’ll mostly agree on the horrific nature of the tragedy, our solidarity with the people of India, and the need to crack down on terrorist bases in Pakistan.
Then we’ll move on to discuss “credit derivative swaps,” the unregulated gambling by the financial services corporations on Wall Street that I believe is the root cause of our current economic meltdown.
I will argue for strict government regulation and oversight of the credit rating agencies that gave failed securities their highest rating of AAA. I will also advocate for new laws to match the individual salaries and bonuses of corporate executives to the fortunes of their companies by banning golden parachutes and giving new powers to shareholders to remove incompetent managers so as to protect free-market incentives over the greedy disincentives that led to this crisis.
The goal, as always, is to prevent people from gambling with other people’s money. The current system of “heads, Wall Street gamblers get billions; tails, taxpayers lose billions” has got to stop.
Meanwhile I’m quite certain that Mike — who like a typical Republican, usually opposes Government regulation — will still unearth some reason to blame everything on the Democrats. Don’t think he can? You watch and see.

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